Positive week is over, so we are pulling out all the weapons
at A Leaf on the Wind for the next leg of Speed 2 Month, including a lovely bladed
nasty from 1983 that made schlock film master Roger Corman quite happy, I
believe. Let’s just get right down into the muck and filth, delve into the
sword and sorcery genre and then laugh at how a micro-budgeted movie can put
SPEED 2 to shame.
In 1982, Arnold Schwarzenegger blew up the silver screen
with his role as the well-known sword and sorcery character, Conan the
Barbarian. With the movie of the same name pulling in some respectable numbers
at the box office, a slew of copycat, ride-the-coattails films began to find
their way to the screen, with one of the most notable being DEATHSTALKER.
Roger Corman is a man that knows how to make money off
movies, regardless of positing how good or bad they may be. He’s made some
classic films in very short time with extremely tiny budgets, almost claiming a
whole segment of film just for himself. Even he saw the potential in jumping on
the Conan bandwagon, getting a team to Argentina, filming and releasing the
picture less than a year after the Barbarian bowed. To say it was a successful
venture would almost be tautological, if you were to know the details. A brief synopsis
of the movie needs to be done before knowing those details, though.
Deathstalker is a well-known adventurer and sell sword. He
is hired to locate three items of power, two of which are held by a sorcerer
who will likely use them to Rule the World. The first item Deathstalker locates
is a rather large sword, which means the other two items, a chalice and an
amulet, are held by the naughty sorcerer. Along the way he gathers a group of
allies, fights in a tournament of battles, wins, destroys the objects of power
and has the sorcerer killed. There’re also a whole lot of boobies, sex and
blood – it is a Corman production, you see. That’s about all you need to know,
because that’s about all there is: a simple plot, likeable characters and sex.
Don’t ask why he’s called Deathstalker, I don’t think you ever discover that.
It’s Just Not Important.
Corman went uncredited for this, likely to keep the cost
down. The entire movie was made for under 500K and went on to make around 11
million in the states. It’s likely the addition of former Playboy Playmate and
Hugh Hefner arm candy, Barbie Benton, drew many of the viewers. What did draw were
newcomer Lana Clarkson and her ability to wield a sword and look good doing it
in a thong and bikini top through most of the movie. Sex sells, it’s said, and
it sure did here. In fact, DEATHSTALKER not only spawned three direct sequels,
Lana Clarkson reprised her role in BARBARIAN QUEEN and its sequel! Now that’s
some powerful repetitive business.
Fantasy movies are generally poorly done. In fact, most are
downright bad. In the early-to-mid 80’s, there were quite a few released to
some small success, mostly as hourly repetitious airings on cable television.
DEATHSTALKER is not a good movie. It’s watchable though, and it’s likely there’s
a college drinking game coinciding with the amount of beheadings, rape or
boobies that crop up in it, or the sequels. I’m not even sure I could recommend
any of the Deathstalker series or the spinoff Barbarian Queen movies without
feeling like a jackass. It’s just… no matter how bad they got, and the third
Deathstalker movie would probably make you claw your own skin off, eat it, shit
it out and then eat it again just for spite (or insanity)… they are all a
better time than SPEED 2. Remember, SPEED 2 was 121 minutes long, where NONE of
the Deathstalker films are more than 85 minutes. Shorter is sometimes better,
particularly here.
Also, the third Deathstalker movie, DEATHSTALKER AND THE
WARRIORS FROM HELL, was hilariously lambasted on an episode of Mystery Science
Theatre 3000, which SPEED 2 never was, oddly enough. It makes you wonder if
even Jason Patric was too crappy for that show.
Come back tomorrow for an extra special day at A Leaf on the
Wind, and Speed 2 Month. You won’t hate me for it.
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