My blood pressure is still recovering from that brief look
at the Star Wars prequels, so Nic Cage is going to get bumped again. I know you’re
all so sorry about that. Instead, I’m taking an average of the different budget
totals of SPEED 2 and looking at other movies made for that amount. And my
friends, there are a lot.
Figuring that the average budget of SPEED 2 is 85 million
dollars, which is likely far below the true amount, these are some of the other
films made for that amount: Cast Away, Fast & Furious (as well as the Tokyo
Drift sequel), I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Ocean’s Eleven and Ocean’s
Thirteen, Memoirs of a Geisha, Tower Heist, Enemy of the State, The Last Action
Hero and The Holiday. As much as I’d enjoy picking apart a movie like I NOW
PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY, I’ve yet to see it, so it’s off the table. Most
of these, and others that also had an 85 million dollar budget, I have seen.
Some are actually pretty damned good. The fact that OCEAN’S ELEVEN and OCEAN’S
THIRTEEN were both made for the same budget is interesting, considering the
size and scope of those flicks. But, I’m not peering in their direction,
either.
TOWER HEIST hit the silver screen in 2011 after a roughly
six year development process, in which Eddie Murphy initiated the idea, dropped
out, then came back to. It had a fairly large cast and likely was aiming at the
audience that enjoyed the 3 (or 4, if you count the original) Ocean’s Eleven
movies. The plot is fairly dense, for a caper movie, trying to envelop
headlines of the day with characters moviegoers would root for. In brief, most
of the characters work at an expensive high-rise apartment complex and have let
one of the residents take their live savings and investment plans to invest in
a money-making venture. Turns out he’s a massive white-collar crook and all
their money is gone, though he’s put in house arrest at the apartment he owns
in the building. Plans go ahead for the workers to try and steal their money
back, with the aid of a street crook, under the nose of the FBI. As usual,
chaos ensues.
Overall, it’s not a terrible movie, thereby placing it far
beyond the reach of SPEED 2. The flaws of the film nearly outdo the
respectability of the story, sadly, making it nothing more than a one-viewing
flick. The promos gave high hope to the story, making it out to be a
comedy-caper. It really isn’t, even though there are quite a few comedic
moments within. Alan Alda plays the Bernie Madoff-like part, and does quite
well in the role. He definitely got a juicy role, and ran with it. If you’re an
Alda fan, you’ll like the movie just for his scenes. If you’re an Eddie Murphy
fan, you may not get quite what you bargained for here. While he does put some
work into his role, it almost feels as if he’s just playing a more “real”, a
more “dark” version of Billy Ray Valentine, the character he portrayed in
TRADING PLACES. Ben Stiller is the lead, steering away from his more silly
comedy roots and stepping up into the core everyman that he is actually quite
good at. In fact, if you have seen this movie, I highly recommend his version
of THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY, where he admirably steps into the shoes of leading
man far and above anything else I’ve seen him in. Matthew Broderick is also in
this flick, somewhere. Mostly he’s background material or has little to say. It
isn’t a strong performance. Most of the secondary characters get good bits;
though some feel like they’re just tacked on to add a multinational feel of the
class struggle that’s part of the overall plot. Some of it works, some doesn’t.
The theft itself isn’t great; mostly the story revolving around the why of the
theft is what really drives the movie. As usual with feel-good films like this,
you get the obligatory “happy ending” that may be a bit overdone.
85 million dollars vs. 160 million dollars. It’s hard to
make money the main focus of a diatribe like this, but if fat, boring Kevin
Smith can do it, why couldn’t Jan de Bont? Well, TOWER HEIST wasn’t done by
fat, boring Kevin Smith, but Brett Ratner of the RUSH HOUR series of movies,
which were massive hits. Makes you wonder why the RUSH HOUR sequels worked for
Ratner and SPEED 2 just bombed for de Bont, doesn’t it? Ha. Nope.
TOWER HEIST pulled in about 153 million dollars worldwide, which doesn't quite better SPEED 2's totals of 164 million, nor did it make much money for the studio, but it certainly wasn't the stinking bomb of the latter. Nor did it have Jason Patric.
More SPEED 2 incompetence tomorrow!
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