Pirates of Dark Water Rewatch: The Little Leviathan

Episode 12: The Little Leviathan

Original Airdate: November 30, 1991

Written By: Glenn Leopold and David Ehrman

Directed By: Don Lusk, Paul Sommer (Supervising Direction by Ray Patterson)

Prepare yourself for the tale that Pirates of Dark Water fans arguably find as the worst of the series. Enjoy as the rewatch delves into episode 12…

The Maelstrom chases the Wraith through choppy seas and windy conditions at close quarters. The Wraith has a damaged sail, causing its poor speed. Konk has prepped a three-eyed sucker critter to launch at the Wraith, while the heroes feel they need to lighten weight on their ship. Konk fires the creature from a catapult but it’s intercepted by a leaping leviathan, which pulls the Maelstrom off course from its chase. Bloth orders the dagrons released to continue the chase, though they aren’t able to locate the Wraith, now hiding in a cove at a nearby island.

Ren and the others watch from the deck of their ship as the dagrons fly away, but their calm is interrupted by the sharp cries of a creature deeper in the cove. Cue the opening credits to THE LITTLE LEVIATHAN.

The cries continue until Tula brings a light closer to the area, revealing – surprise! – a baby leviathan. Niddler asks Tula to “ecomance it away”, which she claims to have difficulty with, as it’s an infant and upset. Ren discovers the little leviathan to be surrounded by Dark Water and it’s likely in trouble. As leviathan hide is the only known resistant to Dark Water, it’s in no immediate danger, but won’t survive forever. Ioz has no qualms about allowing it to perish, then using the remaining hide to repair the sail or sell for good coin. Ren, on the other hand, isn’t so cold, laughing Ioz off. He ropes the leviathan and winches it free from the Dark Water, where the baby critter then comes to the side of the Wraith and bark happily at Ren. When Ren calls it ‘cute’ and strokes it like a puppy, Ioz and Niddler are incredulously stunned. Niddler is duly unimpressed when Ren feeds the baby some of his melons, and is additionally annoyed when he’s dunked in the water on a melon rescue attempt.

The Wraith needs to repair a sail, so a forage to the island is needed to gather vines. Ren jumps on “Baby’s” back and charges for shore, to the chagrin of the others. “Baby” ends up being a great help as he’s able to lift Ren to the treetops and gather vines. Even so, Ioz and Niddler are upset about having the leviathan around and even Tula is reticent. Spotting the approaching Maelstrom as he’s up high, Ren orders everyone to hide to avoid being noticed.

Konk scans the island with a telescope, but only gets a slap from Bloth as he claims that the trees are watching him when he sees “Baby.” Mantus sends out the dagrons to net fish, as the ships stores are low.

Ioz tries to get “Baby” to hide, so Ren decides they should all return to the Wraith. Everyone discusses what should be done with the leviathan. Tula believes it should be let go, Ioz wants to kill it for the hide and Ren wants to keep it as a pet, if not help it find its parents. To foreshadow the next scene, Ren speaks the old adage “how much trouble can it be?”

The sail is repaired, but “Baby” has eaten the remaining vine and Niddler’s melons, putting Ioz and the monkeybird more on edge. Tula steers the Wraith from her hiding place as “Baby” watches a school of fish from the aft of the ship. Ioz pushes “Baby” overboard and tells Ren that he must have jumped in after the fish. “Baby” returns, slightly perturbed, as the compass starts to glow. Ren holds it out to get a heading, enamoring “Baby” enough that the little leviathan grabs the magical bauble, diving into the sea with it. Ioz throws a fit, more so when “Baby” reappears with the compass chain lodged in his tooth. Ioz tries to grab it while Ren attempts to calm “Baby” and they’re both carried off by the freaked out critter. ‘How much trouble’ indeed.

“Baby”, still upset, swims right into one of the Maelstrom’s fishing nets. His cries attract the dagron riders, who pick the net up and return to the pirate ship. The catch is dumped into one of the ship’s holds, where Ren is able to retrieve the compass. Ioz starts to climb out of the hold but a concerned Ren can’t leave his new pet behind. Their argument is cut short when Bloth and some of the crew appear at the top of the hold – captured, once again.

Hauled out of the hold, Bloth takes possession of the compass and “Baby”, tossing Ren and Ioz into the constrictus pit. Both are able to climb away from Bloth’s pet, hacking a hole in a rotted bulkhead. “Baby” throws off his captors, headed for the pit, bumping Konk in on the way.  Konk catches the edge before tumbling in as “Baby’s” cries attract the attention of the constrictus. It launches itself up, but it isn’t clear if it’s more interested in the leviathan or Konk! A frightened “Baby” breaks off, trying to escape the Maelstrom’s crew, who recapture him and lock him back in the hold. Ioz and Ren escape the constrictus pit through the hole they’ve made as Bloth uses the compass to get a heading to the next Treasure of Rule.

The Wraith, chasing after the Maelstrom, has been falling behind, concerning Niddler and Tula. (Apparently the Wraith is only a speed demon when being chased, not when chasing.) Tula ‘senses danger’ again, which turns out to be a herd of leviathans headed directly for them. She turns the ship to run in conjunction with their direction, which works until they pass. A rather large leviathan comes about to the ship and begins acting strangely, worrying Niddler. Tula can’t sense the creature’s intent, so they wait it out.

Bloth pinpoints the location of the next Treasure of Rule, though it’s blocked by Dark Water. He makes a point of prepping the baby leviathan for use in retrieving the treasure.

Ren and Ioz have gotten to the sewerways of the Maelstrom. Ioz teases Ren about the trouble “Baby” has gotten them into. A rush of water has the pair scrambling for a grate in the ceiling, leading them to a new area. “Baby’s” cries are heard, causing Ren to run towards them, Ioz complaining along the way.

Bloth has the little leviathan tethered to one of the inner docks of the Maelstrom. Mantus climbs aboard “Baby” wearing a wetsuit made of leviathan hide. He uses a helm similar to the amphicites seen in THE BEAST AND THE BELL, only larger. The great maw of the Maelstrom opens and Mantus forces “Baby” out, using the compass as a guide to the treasure. Ren grabs a spare amphicite and swims after them before the maw closes.

Tula and Niddler still contend with the leviathan until Tula is able to communicate with it. Discovering it to be “Baby’s” mother, the adult picks up the Wraith and heads off in search of her offspring.

Under the surface of the sea, Mantus looks for the treasure, avoiding the Dark Water that flows from great eruptions and cracks in the sea bed. To his consternation, the compass leads directly to the highest concentration of Dark Water emissions. He’s able to retrieve the treasure and begin his return to the Maelstrom, but not before a sneaky Ren catches “Baby’s” tail and attack. During the melee, Ren loses his mask, allowing Mantus to escape. “Baby” comes to Ren’s rescue, getting him to air in time. Bloth whines at the sight of our hero, who has regained the compass and gained the next treasure. Mantus climbs aboard the pirate vessel just as Ioz pops out of nowhere to put the drop on Bloth and escape over the side. “Baby” swims to Ioz and sets off with both he and Ren. The dagrons are again set loose, who chase after the little leviathan. “Baby” dives under the surface to avoid their assault just as the leviathan herd arrives. They attack the dagrons by leaping high into the air and also slam their tails into the side of the Maelstrom. Bloth retreats from the area, as even his gruesome ship can’t take that kind of punishment.

The leviathan herd celebrates their reunion with the wayward little one as Ren and the others say their good-byes. The end of this deadly dull tale frightens the viewer with the possibility of seeing “Baby” again.

I’m not going to go into any of the fun bits of the rewatch, such as Noy Jitat or Ahoy, Scarpango Pirate. There is so little new in this episode that it makes my scalp itch in annoyance. The flaws in this episode are so great, it makes some of the other weak plots seem like classic literature. Starting at the top, you cringe at the title, knowing exactly where the story is going to go, and you’re not surprised at all by it. This is a formulaic “cute” episode that honestly, would have been ten times better if Tula was the one to be engrossed by the lost leviathan. So much potential was lost in not discovering anything about the leviathans that wasn’t known before. We know their hide is used by sailors and others as being resistant to Dark Water, as has been mentioned in varying episodes. We know they’re supposedly fearsome beasts, as has likewise been mentioned. Why the need to cutesify them, unless it’s a given that the baby is going to return further down the road?

The “Tula senses something” ploy became stale about three episodes back, largely as its only use is to push the story along. There are better ways, particularly with a world as rich as Mer seems to be. Maybe time constraints limited them, but really, folks. Am I the only one to notice that Tula became the equivalent of “hailing frequencies open, sir”?

Regardless of my personal irritation with a story I recall with much less than I have now, there are a few noteworthy instances. Mantus has the dagron riders head out to catch fish for the depleted stores on the Maelstrom, which later becomes the cause of the little leviathan’s inadvertent capture. Mantus also is allowed use of the compass to gain the next treasure, which is very interesting, considering Bloth doesn’t even threaten or cajole Mantus in any way. Nor does the first mate even consider taking off on his own, showing his immense loyalty to the Pirate Lord. I also highly enjoyed the callousness of Ioz, Bloth and the other pirates regarding the hide of the leviathan, which continued to add to their personalities. Even so, the flow of Dark Water from the sea bed is the only really interesting thing in this episode to keep your interest and will be the only distinguishing feature of the story in the future. THE LITTLE LEVIATHAN gains only one half a minga melon; that much largely in the return of Bloth, regardless of his ineffective participation here.

Seven treasures down, how long until the eighth?

Pirates of Dark Water Rewatch -- The Collection

Episode 11: The Collection

Original Airdate: November 23, 1991

Written By: David Ehrman

Directed By: Don Lusk, Paul Sommer (Supervising Direction by Ray Patterson)

At a tall, mysterious castle on a tiny islet, a small, flying creature called Ratmore returns to his master, the magician Garen. They are apparently located close to Jandatown, as they leave the castle, soon to arrive at Zoolie’s game house, where the crew of the Wraith chats with their ally.

Zoolie warns his friends to avoid the Straights of Hedrin, where many a ship has been lost. Ren insists it’s the only way to go, as the compass points in that direction. Niddler asks a question that’s vexed viewers from the earliest part of the show: “Why don’t we go after another treasure?” Indeed – why not? Garen interrupts any potential answer to this poser as he demands his dinner from Zoolie. Ratmore picks on Niddler and Zoolie explains who Garen is to the crew. Ioz notices a pirate named Scorrion who he feels cheated him, causing a scene. Swords are drawn, which is in direct contrast to BETRAYAL, where weapons were not allowed in Game House. Ioz backs down, being outnumbered. Garen leaves, having overheard the whole dispute, planning something unscrupulous.

Ioz complains about having lost treasure to another pirate as he returns with the others to their ship. Ren and Tula turn in for the night, but Ioz talks Niddler into helping him infiltrate Scorrion’s boat. A quick distraction gets Ioz aboard to find a large, seemingly unprotected treasure hoard. Scorrion is not unaware of Ioz’s presence and sails out to open water. Niddler returns to the Wraith to tell Ren, who chases after the pirate vessel.

Scorrion and his crew confront Ioz, who charges through them to get to the main deck. Ratmore flies above, placing an amulet in the crow’s nest for some unknown purpose. Ren spies Ratmore leave the nest just before Ioz is recaptured by Scorrion’s pirates. A green beam of light strikes the deck of Scorrion’s ship, surprising his crew and Ioz, and then a green mist surrounds the ship. Ren and the others watch in horror as the pirate ship disappears.

Garen peers into a bottle as Scorrion’s ship materializes in it, now the size of a model. Strangely unfazed, Ioz and Scorrion put aside their dispute to demand why Garen has taken them. The magician egotistically shows off his collection of ships-in-a-bottle and the treasure he’s taken from them, demanding Scorrion give up his hoard. With the pirate’s refusal, Garen seals a stinger insect in the bottle to scare them into giving it up.

The Wraith docks at Garen’s keep, with Tula explaining that only a magician could have made Scorrion’s ship disappear as it did. Regular viewers scratch their heads at this bit of conjecture, waiting to see where the plot jumps to next.

Inside the bottle, the insect is wreaking havoc with the pirates. Ioz and Scorrion prevail against the bug, causing Garen to lose his temper. He takes the bottle to his Mutarios, creatures with large mouths and short tempers. He shakes the bottle over their mouths, terrifying the pirates. A knock at the door has Garen putting aside the bottle, giving the prisoners time to form an escape plan.

Ren has come to Garen’s keep in disguise as an herb peddler. Garen isn’t overly impressed or deceived by the disguise, recognizing Ren from Game House. Even so, he is interested in the offered herbs and leaves Ren to get money. Ren noses around the keep, followed by a complaining Ratmore. He discovers the ship collection and feigns interest in model building techniques when Garen returns to pay for the herbs. Ren is escorted out and Garen sends Ratmore after him with another of the magical amulets.

Scorrion and his pirates are gathering their treasure onto the deck of their vessel, with Ioz included in one of the trunks. Scorrion doesn’t trust Ioz, but none of his crew is brave enough to attempt the escape plan. Garen comes back to the room before the argument can finish and is pleased to see the treasure is being handed over. Garen uses long tweezers to remove the trunks from the bottle, ensuring the success of the escape plan.

Ratmore flies over to the Wraith as Ren talks to Tula about the collection of ships-in-a-bottle. Tula “senses something”, a continuing theme of the show, with Niddler discovering Garen’s servant. After a short melee, the green mist surrounds the Wraith, ending with it being bottled, too.

Garen places his newly gained treasure in the room with the rest of his stolen booty, re-enlarging it and leaving it to rest for the night. Ioz steps out of the chest, overhearing Garen remark that none of the bottled pirates will last the night, with their bottle sealed and the oxygen running out. Ioz discovers he’s locked in the treasure room, ruining his planned escape.

Ren and Niddler push fruitlessly at their bottle’s cork, until Tula utilizes her powers to heat the air and pop it out. Ren climbs out, looking for Garen’s enlarging potion to return them all to size. Meanwhile, Ioz pushes a loose stone out of the wall of the treasure room, climbing through to the outer wall of the castle. He climbs up the wall to an open window, crowing to himself over all the trouble he’s gotten himself into.

Ren and the others try to free Scorrion and his men, with Niddler accidentally flinging himself into the Mutarios’ cage. Garen enters the room, awoken by the racket, noticing the crew of the Wraith has escaped. Ratmore is given carte blanche to find and dispose of them, so Ren causes a chemical fire before Ioz pops in and attacks Garen. The magician uses a freeze powder on our heroic pirate, so Ren releases the Mutarios, who also attack Garen and knock him out another open window. Ioz recovers and tries to help the others, but the enlarging potion gets caught in the fire and explodes. Ioz has Ren and the others get back into their bottle, grabbing it and the one with Scorrion’s ship. Another explosion has Ioz drop the Wraith’s bottle before he can get out, cracking it. The enlarging mist fills the bottle, so Ioz takes a chance and shatters it, returning it to full size and back on the water. Now aboard the Wraith, Ioz then breaks the bottle with Scorrion’s ship, freeing it as well. All watch as Garen’s castle is burning and wracked with explosions. All around the Pirates of Dark Water, unmanned ships start appearing. The trapped vessels have been freed by the explosions. The Wraith continues on the quest, leaving Scorrion to salvage the ships for treasure.

Noy Jitat!  At least one new bit of the language of Mer pops up in the beginning of the episode, with Ratmore using ‘chopanga’ to describe something. Or curse about something. It’s amusing how most of these words can be used for multiple meanings. ‘Dingamord’ is used by Ioz to infuriate Scorrion, at well.

Mutant Scum – Garen is some form of green mutant, nearly fantasy troll- or goblin-like in appearance. The orange cape really makes the man-mutant, though. The Mutarios are grown from test tubes and Ratmore calls them “fungus”. Mer has some fun critters. In fact, the mutarios look just like the Crites from the Critters series of movies.

When Do We Get to Eat? Niddler is tempted into Ioz’s scheme with food, and he eats quite a bit of Scorrion’s ship supplies before being discovered. He’s a good melon seed spitter, too.

Ahoy, Skarpango Pirate! Welcome back, Zoolie. We missed you. Greetings Scorrion, you no-necked, red-headed Mongol. With no teeth. And bad clothes.

Oh, THE COLLECTION. What great memories you have. Rewatching this episode was going to be fun, I thought. I remembered so many cool things about it but sadly, it doesn’t hold up. Garen’s demise is moronic, the lack of any of the pirates from the Maelstrom is a bad decision here and Scorrion and his lads just don’t hold up to Ioz. The idea of the collection is pretty cool but the eventual dismissal of the remaining ships and fate of their crew is simply poor scripting and characterization. Fleshed out, this could have been something great but it’s just trapped in a 23 minute schedule and suffers for it. 2 and one half minga melons is all I can give this.

Apologies for the delay in the rewatch. Back on track shortly.

Pirates of Dark Water Rewatch episode 10: King Niddler

Episode 10: King Niddler

Original Airdate: November 16, 1991

Written By: Glenn Leopold

Directed By: Don Lusk, Paul Sommer (Supervising Direction, Ray Patterson)

Wild, rough seas are causing difficulty with the compass, as it isn’t able to accurately point to the next treasure. Niddler is unhappy, kvetching loudly about the lack of food, ever increasing danger and his perceived poor treatment aboard the Wraith. Once the ship is settled a bit, the compass points into a fog bank, and the ship is steered into it when Konk is spotted chasing them on a dagron. Once in the fog, Tula notices something odd about it, confirmed when ropes begin breaking. It’s stekafog, a nasty occurrence that causes anything within it to dissolve!

The Wraith starts coming apart and things seem extremely dire when the wheel comes off in Ren’s hands. Niddler douses himself with a bucket of water, claiming his feathers are burning and Ioz plunges his sword into the steering axel to regain control of the rudder. Konk falls from his dagron as his harness snaps in the stekafog, freeing the Wraith from pursuit.

With the ship back under control, Ren spots a clearing in the fog and anchors in it. The crew then sees an island hidden behind the fog, where the next treasure is revealed to be. Sailing to it through the remaining stekafog isn’t an option, so they choose to use the sailglider, the part of the ship that incorporates the entirety of the mainsail, released from the jointed moorings. Ioz orders Niddler around a bit more, causing more tension with the monkeybird. Niddler flies after the sailglider, a poorly conceptualized part of the ship that Ioz, Tula and Ren hang from with nothing more than their hands. Considering Ren’s use of a smaller glider in THE BEAST AND THE BELL, this one just doesn’t seem to work and is wholly less believable. Niddler flies off, seeing a minga melon grove, his stomach overpowering the need to gain the next Treasure of Rule.

Konk has made it to the island’s beach and sees Niddler, then Ren and the others. The sailglider crashes into the forest, ropes having been weakened by the stekafog. The crew figures that they’ll have to rebuild, not only for their ship, but to reach the treasure, which is at the peak of the island’s mountain.

Niddler is finally happy, gorging himself on an abundance of minga melons. As he relaxes, contemplating how many he should keep for the others, he is surrounded by the island natives, the Mobo. Even Niddler notices that the Mobo look identical to monkeybirds, though with stunted, tiny wings.  They are annoyed that Niddler has taken the melons without asking and as attempts to fly away, the Mobo ensnare him in nets. The Mobo remark on Niddler’s ability to fly and some are more impressed than others.

Meanwhile, Ioz finishes a new sailglider with Ren as Konk watches from nearby rushes. Tula can’t see where Niddler is from her perch on a tree bough, but she does see the minga grove. As they all prepare to head out on their new glider, Konk makes an attempt to take the compass but is distracted by a peeking Mobo. Ioz discovers Konk, who tries to warn the others about being surrounded, and is ignored. The Mobo blow purple gas from shells onto everyone, sending them all into unconsciousness.

All are awoken in a hut at the Mobo village, informed they will all be brought before the Mobo king. A palanquin is brought to the village center and the crew is requested to kneel before the king. Ioz refuses until threatened and all are amazed to discover Niddler is the king. An elderly Mobo called Grandfather explains to all that Niddler has been expected in foretelling on the Mobo Scrolls, which Ioz scoffs at, not willing to play subject to the monkeybird. Tula decides to do the opposite and asks King Niddler if he’d be so kind as to free his friends. King Niddler complies happily, pleased to be giving orders rather than taking them. Niddler even frees Konk, though the pirate gets to be Niddler’s houseboy, rather than free to roam. The heroes then leave King Niddler to his subjects and continue their search for the treasure, thinking the crown and power may have gone to their friend’s head. At least one of the Mobo is thinking the same, though Grandfather and a female Mobo, Zena, are convinced Niddler is the one to free Mobo Island from the curse of the feryx.

Ren, Ioz and Tula fly their glider towards the top of the mountain, trying to avoid the stekafog that clouds the pinnacle. Stress from maneuvers cause it to come apart, crashing to the forest below. Ioz and Tula are able to make it to an outcrop, but Ren barely manages to catch a jutting rock, hanging precariously. Tula uses her ecomantic powers to grow some roots, allowing Ren to climb back to the others. Even so, the entire outcropping collapses beneath our heroes, leaving them all hanging for dear life.

King Niddler is shaken from his throne to the floor of his hut. Zena tells him that it isn’t an earthquake but the feryx, awakening from its yearly hibernation. The feryx, he is told, is a fearsome creature that preys upon the Mobo and it’s his duty as king to defeat it. Niddler is a bit trepidatious over his needing to defeat a monster, but is willing to go along as it’s still sleeping and is given a magic feather from Grandfather Mobo to touch it with, thereby ridding the island of it.

Flying after eating so many minga melons proves to be difficult for King Niddler. He ascends with much strain on himself. He also notices and avoids the stekafog around the mountain as he complains the entire way. He locates the “smelly cave” he was told to look for and enters, finding the feryx snoozing. Although he does try to get the feather onto the feryx, it wakes and spits smoke at the king of the Mobo, who escapes in abject fear. King Niddler returns to the Mobo village, unwilling to return to fight the feryx and its stekabreath. Called a coward, Niddler chooses to quit being their king and flies off without his crown and without the magical feather. Zena chases after, feather in hand, pleading with him, still believing he’s the Mobo king.

Apparently able to save themselves from falling, the others continue their climb up Mobo Mountain, hampered by the stekafog and disintegrating rocks. Tula uses her powers again, this time creating an updraft of air to blow enough of the stekafog away to allow them to pass. Pleased with the progress, they continue towards their goal.

Niddler takes a breather, allowing Zena to catch up to him and beg again for his help. Niddler finally tells Zena he’s no king, just a monkeybird with a large appetite. She then asks Niddler to fly her to the feryx lair and let her do what he won’t. He continues to refuse as the shadow of the feryx passes them from above, headed to attack the Mobo village. The Mobo have holes dug in the ground as defense from the feryx, diving into them when it comes near. Niddler and Zena see a fellow Mobo helping Grandfather into a hut to flee from the feryx, though the creature blasts the hut with stekabreath, collapsing the roof. Zena rushes to the village with Niddler chasing after, trying to keep her from becoming feryx food. Zena gets to the hut, finding Grandfather unhurt in the wreckage. He is pleased to see Niddler has returned, as no Mobo have been taken this time. While not all are supportive of Niddler, he is once again asked to help the Mobo and defeat the feryx.

During the fracas, Konk finds time to escape, discovering the wreckage of the sailglider. He starts his repairs in the hope of escaping Mobo Island.

Near the mountaintop, Ren’s compass points to a cave and thereby the treasure. Everyone enters the cave, remarking on the smell and sheer amount of bones lying about. Unknowingly, they’ve stumbled on the lair of the feryx and after retrieving the treasure, are just about to leave as it returns from the attack on Mobo Village. The feryx, seen in its entirety for the first time, looks to be a winged meerkat of immense proportions. It quickly sniffs out the hiding intruders, attacking Ioz with stekabreath, destroying his sword. Everyone retreats to the back of the cave, trying to keep from being scratched by the claws of the feryx.

Niddler flies to the top of Mobo Mountain with Zena, who carries the enchanted feather. Niddler continues to claim he won’t enter the cave and they land outside, as the feryx continues to assail the others within. Ren tells Ioz and Tula to get ready to run while he distracts the monster. Outside, Zena enters the cave bravely, armed with the feather. The feryx smells her and turns, knocking her to the floor and blowing the feather from her hand. Ren then leaps to the back of the feryx, though he’s tossed off too quickly to allow the others to escape. Ioz and Tula pick up bones to defend Ren, though they don’t last long against stekabreath. Niddler moves into the cave to drop a rock on the tail of the feryx after it picks up Ren, Tula and Ioz in its claws. A ticked off feryx drops the crew to chase after Niddler, blowing the magic feather from the cave. Zena calls to Niddler to catch it as drafts blow it about. Just as he does grab it, a happy feryx nabs Niddler, getting ready to eat him alive. Niddler touches the feather to the feryx, watching the monster turn into a tiny weasel. Mighty magic, indeed. Zena hugs her king, as the treasure in Ren’s hand begins glowing brightly.  Konk suddenly swoops in on the glider, snatching it from Ren and flying off. The treasure continues to glow brighter, dissolving the stekafog from the mountain and surroundings. The gem blinds Konk, who drops it and falls from the glider. Niddler catches the gem and carries Ren to the glider, saving both from being lost. Konk falls to the water, unfazed.

Returned to the Mobo village, Niddler is asked to take back the crown. He refuses, placing it on the head of Zena, pronouncing her Queen of the Mobo. This is heartily accepted. With a hug of congratulations from Tula, her ecomantic glow surrounds them both, causing Zena’s wings to grow out and flourish. Shortly after, all the other Mobo have their wings returned to them, which causes Tula to extrapolate that the stekafog blocked their growth and her powers gave them the kickstart they needed. Everyone’s happy and all fly back to the Wraith, treasure number six in hand.

Noy Jitat! Nothing new again this week, with the lone exception of Konk using the ‘creld-eater’ epitaph. It’s likely I’ve mentioned this insult before, but I don’t recall and it stands out as a deep insult in a rather insult-less episode.

Mutant Scum – The most notable critters of KING NIDDLER are the Mobo, the flightless version of monkeybirds. While it isn’t a shock they regain their wings by the end of the story, it can be said it is interesting to see how differently they developed from the monkeybirds seen on Pandawa in BREAK UP. While it’s obvious that much of their existence is shaped by the feryx, the second creature of interest for this topic, it isn’t discussed how they got to the island, whether or not they were there before the feryx, or even if they know that they had wings at any point beforehand. Considering that the feryx was placed on Mobo Island to guard the Sixth Treasure of Rule and the treasure itself could destroy the stekafog, it begs the question of who placed the critter there to begin with. As it had such a negative impact on the Mobo themselves, you would have to think that it wasn’t Primus or any of his captains this time.

When Do We Get to Eat? As a Niddler-centric episode, those that despise his character likely hated this one. As a Niddler fan, I did not. While he is used to drive a message/plot that, like most of them, is lost (pleasantly so) in the greater story. Niddler’s desire for food pushes his personality, for better or worse. Here it not only acknowledges the weakness of his character, it’s a plot element for Niddler himself to realize his own fundamental drawbacks. Even though he whines and moans a ton in King Niddler, he still ends up being the hero, continuing with the quest after crowning a queen.

KING NIDDLER, while silly at parts and burdened by another unwanted, unneeded message, is a solid PoDW episode. It allows for the writer to poke fun at the show (note Ioz’s bitching: “For once, couldn’t they hide it [the treasure] at the bottom of the mountain?”) and give the viewer a hefty amount of banter amongst the main characters. The lack of Bloth and the Maelstrom is only evident here with Konk as the foil for the story. Honestly, he really isn’t needed and could have been left out as he doesn’t advance the story at all. With something more to do, it could have been interesting, as he’s fun to watch fail, or succeed, at times.

I give episode 10 three minga melons on a scale of five. It’s a solid plot with decent roles for most involved, as well as another treasure located. Success looms… or does it?

As we are ten episodes into a 21 episode run, we’re nearly at halfway. I want you all to check out the Warner Archives page, if you haven’t. http://shop.warnerarchive.com/product/pirates+of+dark+water

Pirates of Dark Water Rewatch: PANACEA

Episode 9: Panacea

Original Airdate: Nov 9, 1991

Written By: Sean Roche

Directed By: Don Lusk, Paul Sommer (Supervising Director, Ray Patterson)

The Maelstrom is chasing the Wraith through a narrows. Ren believes the compass is pointing to a place called Miragon, the likely location of the next treasure. The narrows ahead is blocked and it looks as though the only way out is gliding the ship over the blockage, until a “blast hole” is spotted. This is a tunnel worked through a side of the narrows at the water level. Air rushes through it and it’s a known speedway for the sailors of Mer. The Wraith is a tight fit but she sails quickly through the tunnel until the Maelstrom settles directly in front of the entrance, killing the air flow and becalming the Wraith. Once stopped, ropes drop down from above the passage as Bloth’s pirates begin boarding.

Ren and the others abandon the Wraith, using the ropes dropped down by Bloth’s men. They move into caverns above the blast tunnel and escape the assault. Bloth and his boarders take the Wraith and sail on to Miragon, hoping to head off Ren and the others.

Chopping through the jungle, Ioz discovers the city of Miragon, confirmed by the compass pointing directly to it. As he and the others approach, an ominous rumbling noise attracts their attention. A large, burrowing creature pops out of the soil and attacks Tula! Its’ fearsome, crab/worm/beetle appearance does little to delay Ioz and Ren from attacking the creature in Tula’s defense, hanging off the protuberant tusks. The creature is able to eject the tusks with both Ioz and Ren, growing replacements in seconds. The creature growls a bit more, then burrows back towards a mound outside the city, where the compass points to the next Treasure of Rule.

As the crew catches their breath, a man appears through the reeds and a metal bird comes screeching down to perch in a tree. Slaggon introduces himself and his pet Hawk Knife, interested in who has been bothering the Golquin, the worm/beetle creature.

At Slaggon’s lair, the crew discovers he is a biotransmuter, with a zoo of creatures he’s created. He claims that he fixes dying or wounded animals and beings of Mer by making improvements on them. He does admit that the Golquin is not one of his creations and he has no control over it. He explains that the only way to get rid of the Golquin is to feed it a loack flower, reportedly a plant with great healing ability – except to the Golquin. Of course, the loack flower is deep in the swamp; certain death without a guide. Ioz sees directly through the scheme of Slaggon as the crew is extorted for money. Ioz isn’t willing to part with any money, even though Ren pushes to accept the charge. Ah, Ren. So willing to be the pleasant mediator, right on down to paying out large amounts of coin even after being so low on it just last episode. (See THE BEAST AND THE BELL rewatch intro for a quick reminder.)

Slaggon offers a “bioguide” for the crew to locate the loack flower. “Woulette” is half fish, half lemur-like critter kept in a fishbowl on a staff of crystal. Woulette is kept in suspended animation until someone takes the staff by hand, thereby connecting with the holder through a “medical transmutation” which acts as an aid in finding whatever is being searched for. Woulette has a horrible attitude and mouth, making no friends with the crew.

As Ioz pilots a river skiff into the swamp, Woulette continues to verbally assault our heroes, making no friends. At the height of his tirade, strange, grunting men rain fiery arrows upon the boat. Woulette tells the others that they’re the Mud People and they don’t like to get wet. In trying to avoid the arrows and move deeper into the swamp, Ioz runs the skiff aground. The Mud People jump aboard their own boats and close in on their prey. Tula creates geysers that splash the Mud People, who retreat in fear from… “melting.”

Stopping for a food forage break, the crew discusses the increasingly obnoxious Woulette’s personality. A lesson-message is being forged here, don’t miss it! With only Ren being somewhat sympathetic of Woulette, likely due to his connection through the staff, the others want to locate the loack flower as quickly as possible to be rid of the bioguide. Niddler, in retaliation of Woulette’s verbal assaults, drops a piranha clam into his bowl, amusing Tula and Ioz. Ren chastises Niddler, deepening this tacked-on episode lesson.

Bloth arrives at Miragon with the Wraith and has Konk climb the Gonquin mound to retrieve the very visible treasure at the peak. Mantus remarks on the treasure still being in place just before the Gonquin attacks Konk. Slaggon approaches Bloth, curious as to more people bothering the Gonquin. After a brief update, Bloth hires Slaggon to kill Ren using his pet Hawk Knife.

Woulette leads the crew to where the loack flower should be located and they all separate to search. Woulette and Ren have a heart-to-heart regarding his personality, where Woulette explains that Slaggon is no savior of animals, just a greedy transmutator. Ren makes a promise to help Woulette when Tula discovers the loack. She tells the others that the flower nectar is Mer’s most potent healing agent, or PANACEA. With that, Ren informs his friends that Woulette will be joining the crew, causing much consternation and debate from them.

High above, Hawk Knife carries Slaggon in a bizarre chair harness. He tracks them down with a magical Rubik’s Cube attuned to Woulette’s staff. He attacks just as the crew return to their skiff, swooping down to steal the loack and fire an energy leech at Ren. Tula uses her powers to have the trees interfere, knocking Slaggon from his chair. Ioz steps in to swordfight the biotransmutor, quickly overpowering him and taking the loack. Woulette uses his bio water to revive Ren, placing himself in jeopardy. A revived Ren uses the loack petals to help Woulette, which does more than just heal him, it reverts him to his original state.

The next morning at Miragon, Mantus and Konk awake to see the Golquin being teased by the Woulette, returned to his original winged state by the loack flower. Behind them, Niddler flies up to the top of the mound, taking the treasure. As Bloth comes to the deck of the Wraith, he’s booted overboard by Ioz and Ren, swooping down like twin Errol Flynn’s. The Wraith, reclaimed by our heroes, sails off just as Slaggon returns home, to be taken captive by Bloth and the pirates.

Woulette is offered a position aboard the Wraith, but he declines, wanting to remain behind and help the other transmuted creatures. Wishing him well, the Wraith continues the quest, five treasures down, eight more to go.

Mutant Scum – Quite a few new critters this episode, most being “created” by Slaggon. Even so, the Gonquin stands out as one bizarre ‘natural’ creature of Mer, with Ioz and Ren calling it a crab! A number of clams are mentioned, with Niddler making use of the piranha clam to tease Woulette. The Mud People, one of the most idiotic of Mer’s denizens make their first and last appearance – people made of mud that don’t like getting wet? What the hell are they doing in a swamp, much less getting on boats to attack others? Gah… makes my brain hurt just typing it.

When Do We Get to Eat? Niddler doesn’t do a whole hell of a lot but complain here, though he is interested in tying down the melons when the Wraith enters the blast hole in the opening.

Moons of Mer, this was terrible! As seen above, there isn’t much worth mentioning for focus this episode. PANACEA tops the list, so far, of the worst of PoDW, just barely enabling a single minga melon out of five. This is a pointless episode with a weak plot and premise, including the poorly slapped on lesson for the kiddies that just falls flat. This is the second of the treasures just dumped somewhere with no explanation but this story didn’t even have the thought to include a view of the treasure up close. Why is the Gonquin so attached to the treasure? Is it a guardian? Was it a guardian? Who cares when you’re only supposed to be interested in Woulette (occasionally spoken as Roulette, just in case some of you are following along) and his plight. Woulette is a weak character and design and I’m sure Ioz isn’t the only one to be pleased he doesn’t stick around.

In mentioning Ioz, he is the lone cause of the single minga melon. Ioz was written with decent characterization, continuing to act as a pirate and making no bones about it. He sees right through Slaggon and any deception here, attempting a strongarm even over Ren’s objections. We also get a brief but memorable sword battle between the two that was sorely needed to inject some life into a dead story. It’s in this, amongst other areas that I firmly believe Ioz could be the star of his own show, if the option were available. Someone get in touch with Hector Elizondo!