Pirates of Dark Water Rewatch -- The Collection

Episode 11: The Collection

Original Airdate: November 23, 1991

Written By: David Ehrman

Directed By: Don Lusk, Paul Sommer (Supervising Direction by Ray Patterson)

At a tall, mysterious castle on a tiny islet, a small, flying creature called Ratmore returns to his master, the magician Garen. They are apparently located close to Jandatown, as they leave the castle, soon to arrive at Zoolie’s game house, where the crew of the Wraith chats with their ally.

Zoolie warns his friends to avoid the Straights of Hedrin, where many a ship has been lost. Ren insists it’s the only way to go, as the compass points in that direction. Niddler asks a question that’s vexed viewers from the earliest part of the show: “Why don’t we go after another treasure?” Indeed – why not? Garen interrupts any potential answer to this poser as he demands his dinner from Zoolie. Ratmore picks on Niddler and Zoolie explains who Garen is to the crew. Ioz notices a pirate named Scorrion who he feels cheated him, causing a scene. Swords are drawn, which is in direct contrast to BETRAYAL, where weapons were not allowed in Game House. Ioz backs down, being outnumbered. Garen leaves, having overheard the whole dispute, planning something unscrupulous.

Ioz complains about having lost treasure to another pirate as he returns with the others to their ship. Ren and Tula turn in for the night, but Ioz talks Niddler into helping him infiltrate Scorrion’s boat. A quick distraction gets Ioz aboard to find a large, seemingly unprotected treasure hoard. Scorrion is not unaware of Ioz’s presence and sails out to open water. Niddler returns to the Wraith to tell Ren, who chases after the pirate vessel.

Scorrion and his crew confront Ioz, who charges through them to get to the main deck. Ratmore flies above, placing an amulet in the crow’s nest for some unknown purpose. Ren spies Ratmore leave the nest just before Ioz is recaptured by Scorrion’s pirates. A green beam of light strikes the deck of Scorrion’s ship, surprising his crew and Ioz, and then a green mist surrounds the ship. Ren and the others watch in horror as the pirate ship disappears.

Garen peers into a bottle as Scorrion’s ship materializes in it, now the size of a model. Strangely unfazed, Ioz and Scorrion put aside their dispute to demand why Garen has taken them. The magician egotistically shows off his collection of ships-in-a-bottle and the treasure he’s taken from them, demanding Scorrion give up his hoard. With the pirate’s refusal, Garen seals a stinger insect in the bottle to scare them into giving it up.

The Wraith docks at Garen’s keep, with Tula explaining that only a magician could have made Scorrion’s ship disappear as it did. Regular viewers scratch their heads at this bit of conjecture, waiting to see where the plot jumps to next.

Inside the bottle, the insect is wreaking havoc with the pirates. Ioz and Scorrion prevail against the bug, causing Garen to lose his temper. He takes the bottle to his Mutarios, creatures with large mouths and short tempers. He shakes the bottle over their mouths, terrifying the pirates. A knock at the door has Garen putting aside the bottle, giving the prisoners time to form an escape plan.

Ren has come to Garen’s keep in disguise as an herb peddler. Garen isn’t overly impressed or deceived by the disguise, recognizing Ren from Game House. Even so, he is interested in the offered herbs and leaves Ren to get money. Ren noses around the keep, followed by a complaining Ratmore. He discovers the ship collection and feigns interest in model building techniques when Garen returns to pay for the herbs. Ren is escorted out and Garen sends Ratmore after him with another of the magical amulets.

Scorrion and his pirates are gathering their treasure onto the deck of their vessel, with Ioz included in one of the trunks. Scorrion doesn’t trust Ioz, but none of his crew is brave enough to attempt the escape plan. Garen comes back to the room before the argument can finish and is pleased to see the treasure is being handed over. Garen uses long tweezers to remove the trunks from the bottle, ensuring the success of the escape plan.

Ratmore flies over to the Wraith as Ren talks to Tula about the collection of ships-in-a-bottle. Tula “senses something”, a continuing theme of the show, with Niddler discovering Garen’s servant. After a short melee, the green mist surrounds the Wraith, ending with it being bottled, too.

Garen places his newly gained treasure in the room with the rest of his stolen booty, re-enlarging it and leaving it to rest for the night. Ioz steps out of the chest, overhearing Garen remark that none of the bottled pirates will last the night, with their bottle sealed and the oxygen running out. Ioz discovers he’s locked in the treasure room, ruining his planned escape.

Ren and Niddler push fruitlessly at their bottle’s cork, until Tula utilizes her powers to heat the air and pop it out. Ren climbs out, looking for Garen’s enlarging potion to return them all to size. Meanwhile, Ioz pushes a loose stone out of the wall of the treasure room, climbing through to the outer wall of the castle. He climbs up the wall to an open window, crowing to himself over all the trouble he’s gotten himself into.

Ren and the others try to free Scorrion and his men, with Niddler accidentally flinging himself into the Mutarios’ cage. Garen enters the room, awoken by the racket, noticing the crew of the Wraith has escaped. Ratmore is given carte blanche to find and dispose of them, so Ren causes a chemical fire before Ioz pops in and attacks Garen. The magician uses a freeze powder on our heroic pirate, so Ren releases the Mutarios, who also attack Garen and knock him out another open window. Ioz recovers and tries to help the others, but the enlarging potion gets caught in the fire and explodes. Ioz has Ren and the others get back into their bottle, grabbing it and the one with Scorrion’s ship. Another explosion has Ioz drop the Wraith’s bottle before he can get out, cracking it. The enlarging mist fills the bottle, so Ioz takes a chance and shatters it, returning it to full size and back on the water. Now aboard the Wraith, Ioz then breaks the bottle with Scorrion’s ship, freeing it as well. All watch as Garen’s castle is burning and wracked with explosions. All around the Pirates of Dark Water, unmanned ships start appearing. The trapped vessels have been freed by the explosions. The Wraith continues on the quest, leaving Scorrion to salvage the ships for treasure.

Noy Jitat!  At least one new bit of the language of Mer pops up in the beginning of the episode, with Ratmore using ‘chopanga’ to describe something. Or curse about something. It’s amusing how most of these words can be used for multiple meanings. ‘Dingamord’ is used by Ioz to infuriate Scorrion, at well.

Mutant Scum – Garen is some form of green mutant, nearly fantasy troll- or goblin-like in appearance. The orange cape really makes the man-mutant, though. The Mutarios are grown from test tubes and Ratmore calls them “fungus”. Mer has some fun critters. In fact, the mutarios look just like the Crites from the Critters series of movies.

When Do We Get to Eat? Niddler is tempted into Ioz’s scheme with food, and he eats quite a bit of Scorrion’s ship supplies before being discovered. He’s a good melon seed spitter, too.

Ahoy, Skarpango Pirate! Welcome back, Zoolie. We missed you. Greetings Scorrion, you no-necked, red-headed Mongol. With no teeth. And bad clothes.

Oh, THE COLLECTION. What great memories you have. Rewatching this episode was going to be fun, I thought. I remembered so many cool things about it but sadly, it doesn’t hold up. Garen’s demise is moronic, the lack of any of the pirates from the Maelstrom is a bad decision here and Scorrion and his lads just don’t hold up to Ioz. The idea of the collection is pretty cool but the eventual dismissal of the remaining ships and fate of their crew is simply poor scripting and characterization. Fleshed out, this could have been something great but it’s just trapped in a 23 minute schedule and suffers for it. 2 and one half minga melons is all I can give this.

Apologies for the delay in the rewatch. Back on track shortly.