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| It's a Crime Fighting boat. |
SPEED 2 Month: a yearly exposure of the futility of
movie-making has been going on for many years now, in a variety of forms. For
the last few it’s been a focal point of this weblog, of which has been all but
abandoned otherwise. Unfortunately for 2016, I’ll be unable to fulfill a full
31 days of comeuppance to Jan de Bont’s King of Excrement. June is the true
SPEED 2 Month and it’s already been postponed to July as time has become
heavily constrained to new jobs, a more intense focus at From the Hip and the
FtHSoapbox website, and a living situation that is tenuous, at the best.
Regardless, SPEED 2 Month will continue, in a limited, sporadic
format for this year on this page. In subsequent years it may move again to a
new home if I wish. That’s another year or so away and not to be decided now.
How did SPEED 2 Month start? Well, I’ll let my words of last
year tell the tale, because no SPEED 2 Month is worth its salt if there isn’t
some mention of John Amenta in it.
Some years past, while
discussing films and comic books and other geek nation topics at a nearby comic
and game store, I happened to mention SPEED 2 and the horrifying displeasure
this movie impressed upon me. It, to be blunt, was a ridiculous mess of a
story, with acting better suited for a Junior High School setting. This
apparently was somewhat upsetting to a friend of mine who was there at the
time, Mr. John Amenta. John claimed to have enjoyed the movie, disagreeing with
me that it was the worst he’d ever seen. I took umbrage to the fact that he, a
man of esteemed good taste, could even find a minutes worth of entertainment in
the 122 that made up the waste of celluloid. SPEED 2 became a running gag for
me, particularly in response to anything that John made claim to enjoy. For
myself, I took immense pleasure not only in teasing John, but in discovering
how many movies, no matter how bad, are not nearly on the low level of SPEED 2.
This… celebration of
inadequacy… began as an oft-mentioned topic when A Leaf on the Wind began as a
weblog at Myspace. It became a daily event through the month of June a few
years back, though only being fully realized last year. If you’re of stout
mind, you can go through the archives and read what was done last year in
conjunction with this year, which may prove to be a landmark thirty days.
So yes, there are a number of years’ worth of reading
previous columns, with a different movie in each one. I have yet to repeat
films as there are hundreds upon hundreds that I’ve never ever witnessed, not
to mention the many that I have seen which have not yet been featured in this
event. Yesterday started SPEED 2 Month with a look at a video game stinker and
the next one will be within the same vein. And if you see this guy at a
convention or dog park, make sure you tell him that “SPEED 2 sucks!”
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| Not Lord Viggo, the other guy |
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